The autumn leaves fall to the ground so that on windy nights, what once moved through the dark in the trees is now free to prowl the ground and threaten mental safety of our night journeys. Someone please help me and stop screaming, it scares me because I can't see you. I wrote then when I was terrified, but not because of it. Sometimes I pleasure myself thinking of my sweet nurse in the back of train number 9. From the condition of the place, that seems to be where everyone does it. Yet everytime I come to here, I feel that I'm the only one. I feel that have caused all of this. How could I be responsible for everyone? Is it raining? Is it raining blood? I'm walking on stone, but as the trains pass like metal sepents, the fire from their eyes illuminates the ground in short flashes that make it appear to be moving. When my eyes begin to adjust I see that it is and the worms that have come out with the rain turn into maggots. The ground is no longer making the right sunds as I walk on it and as maggots clear, they give way to a reddish soft surface with winding cracks in it that resemble a maze-like pattern. My senses begin to burn and mutate until I can feel my steps in the back of my mind. It is now apparent to me that I am walking on the surface of my own mind and a pain begins to ensue. I'm already shaking uncontrollably, but I can't help myself starting to spaz and contort. The next subway train coming down the tracks is running up my spine and headed torwns my mind where I trek. It's gonna hit me. This torture isn't worth it's reward of death no matter how bad I want to end my life. God, please come and get me. Have you foggoten to pick me up? If you have, I promise I'll understand and forgive you. Just please come soon. I can't take this anymore. Please don't let it be too late. Please don't let it be that I have been condemned and am in Hell, as I dread. Where are you, God? Do you neglect me because I have sinned? I cheated in my old life, but ow I'm a changed man. Is it because I worship my sweet nurse like a lord and savior? Is it because I pleasure myself thinking of that same icon when she is away? I've found myself walking naked in downpour of my own blood and my body is completely hairless and sickly pale. Seeing my own naked form and willing too do anything to make my suffering stop, I reach back and begin to tear at my flesh until I'm peeling it off. It comes from the back of my neck as I rip off my face. The blood stings my bring as my skull cap is missing. when I tear the skin off my back the train on my spine derails and severs all of my major nerve endings. Each one feels like an electric shock that sizzles out and I feel them all at once. Previously, spazing out of control, my movement shorts out and stops. I collapse in front of the tracks and my only saving grace is train number 9 coming to run me into the ground. Before it can release me though, I wake up from the nightmare to the familiar smell of train fuel, and the stink of humanity. The only thing more frightening than the nightmare I've just lived through is the terrible fear I have that I'm still dreaming. I glance over to see that the driver of train 6 has requested that I leave the area of the tracks so that he can get through.


Patient 10988Z has finished the electroshock treatment. Unfortunately, the results that this attempt produced mark a complete failure of the treatment. The patient regained consiousness at the end of the treatment, fell off of the operated table and shrieked until he vomited up enogh blood to fill a large bucket. Any more and he would have died from blood loss. The patient is now very weak and no loger responsive at all except for his inner monologue exposed vocally as usual. Now everysingle word he vocalizes as a scream. He is paralzed intirely since the electroshock therapy and his main nerve endings have been fried beyond function from the treatment. I can't help but feel that we have let him down and have been damned for it. as he grows weaker it is clear that he is dying and sickly I am relieved by this. I only hope that he will not live long enough for his tortured soul to break free from his own prison and begin to affect my reality. In my nightmares, I've never seen anyone with severed nerves and full paralysis run so fast and then run a surgical knife down my chest before he pulls apart my ribcage and eats my heart out.

PLEASANT DREAMS, MOTHERFUCKERS.